Reminisce over you

If you know me IRL, you know that I have some of the craziest dreams ever. Waking up in the middle of the night in cold sweats petrified of what my subconscious had revealed me to is the norm. It literally happens all the time which is why I’m up at 5:25 AM on a Friday morning writing when I should be knocked out. Normally I’d just scroll through social media or read free books on my Kindle Unlimited until I fell back asleep or my alarm went off, but today I woke up with the beat for Pete Rock & RL Smooth’s “They Reminisce Over You” on repeat in my mind (there’s always music playing in my head TBH) and an insistence to share my story here, so HERE I AM!

I’m not big on getting my dreams interpreted because I feel like they’re always messages from the Man upstairs giving me insight on something. Preparing me for heartbreak, giving me foresight into people’s true personalities or granting me closure for situations I wouldn’t have received otherwise. Well, tonight/this morning is no different. This amazing dream (I’m totally being sarcastic) basically followed a conversation I’d had with someone from my past. They were reaching out to give me an update on their personal life and they thought sharing it with me was the courteous thing to do. While I appreciated their honesty, I can’t lie their revelation stung a little bit. Nonetheless, I put on my supportive, encouraging friend hat and genuinely congratulated them on their new life. Side note: I always think of friendships and relationships as  an opportunity to make the people involved see the best in themselves so I’m always the friend/girlfriend that’s like “Hey, okay, you have a goal or something you want to achieve? Cool. Let’s find a way to get it done, now!” It’s like I see the excellence radiating inside of certain people and love helping them reach it. This dream was no different.

Instead of being annoyed or insulted Dream Friend’s update, I was genuinely supportive. I told them to look back on our situation and use our failures as examples of what not to do. I encouraged them to be brutally honest about their feelings and/or intentions, regardless of if it makes things uncomfortable. Sharing your true thoughts and perspectives on things usually helps build a level of trust that’s almost impossible to penetrate. Walking through life with a clear conscious is so much easier than hiding secrets and truths. That’s something I’ve never ever been comfortable with so I try to keep things honest (that and the fact that I’m a terrible liar). I encouraged DF to listen with ears of understanding and compromise instead of hearing something you don’t like and instantly going into defense mode. They seemed really receptive of our conversation and slightly remorseful that they hadn’t taken those things into consideration over the course of our friendship.

Dream Friend revealed that they were so relieved about sharing their plight with me but practicing my ‘honesty is the best policy’ rule, I had to let them know the real. I told them that while I was supportive of their new direction in life, I needed a bit of space to process and deal. Not for nothing, space and separation can be a very good thing. We get so accustomed to having people in our lives and seeing every single update on their lives that sometimes we need to press pause and fall back a bit, especially as the nature of your relationships with people change. DF was obviously taken back by that but they couldn’t help but respect my honesty (I’m telling you, there’s something about effectively communicating not so happy things that helps people’s gain trust and respect).

So yeah, that was my dream. It’s crazy because I’m not too sure if that conversation would ever happen IRL. Some people, unlike myself, aren’t always willing to be transparent about their feelings and it’s always reflected in how they treat people. I wish people knew how freeing it is but hey, everything just ain’t for everybody. Regardless of if it happens or not, I feel like this dream was my subconscious’ way of preparing me for the fact that other people’s lives really do go on, with or without you. No matter if they grant the courtesy that was granted in my dream, I should always try to be at a level where I can deal with those types of life updates when I make the decision to deal with people on a certain level.

It’s 6:01 AM now, if you were wondering. I would prefer more sleep but my brain is up and running so I guess I’ve got no choice but to take advantage of my early start.

Until next time,