Who Are You?

Totally random, but I pride myself on being an inherently good person. Whenever I meet people, I expect them to be good people too and I treat them as such until they give me reason not to.

You tell me your name is Bob and that you’re 37, that’s what I’m going to be inclined to believe. I’m not going to go researching into your personal business because what reason would anyone have to lie to me? Last time I checked I’m no one’s judge, momma or girlfriend so there’s no reason to withhold the truth from me. I’m never really skeptical of people unless I get weird, uncomfortable vibes and then I act accordingly. So far, I’ve managed to be a pretty good judge of character, but, lately, I’ve come to realize that I’ve been super naive to believe that my personal experience is a shared one. Case in point, potential bae aka Cross.

Like I mentioned in my previous post, things between us are going pretty well. We speak pretty often and we’ve seen each other quite a few times. We’ve been having a good time getting to know each other, but the one thing that I’m having a hard time understanding is his skepticism of me.

From the beginning, he mentioned not easily trusting and welcoming newcomers in his life. I could even tell he was super guarded during our first date, so I expected some sort of resistance from him. Let’s just say it was a lot more than I was expecting. I could make the smallest, kindest gesture and he’d side eye TF outta me.

Like “are you really this nice or is there some other person waiting for the perfect moment to pop up from behind-the-scenes.” Literally waiting for the other shoe to drop and for me to turn into something I’m not even sure of. I’ve never had to prove that I’m the annoying, clingy, sarcastic, kind hearted heathen I always present myself to be, so this has obviously been a strange task for me.

On one hand, I totally get it. We’ve all gone through experiences in life and love that shape the way we treat people along our respective journeys. If 10 people with red shoes tripped me, I might be a little skeptical if I see someone wearing red shoes running down on me. That’s the rational, compassionate YB talking. The impulsive, annoying, irrational YB is on some “I am who I say I am and that’s what you should believe. Now let’s move on to something more important like food.”

I guess that’s what comes with the territory of dealing with other people though. Regardless of how well I know myself and what I’m capable of doing, it’s up to others (and it’s Cross in this specific case) to discern what’s true or not. It’s funny to me though. It’s like he’s so concerned with the possibility of who I could possibly be that he’s not even paying attention to the ridiculous person that I really am. Like sir, figuring out if you’re capable of dealing with my theatrics is way more pressing than stressing over something that’s just not going to happen in the future, but hey, it’s his cross to bear.

One last thing before I wrap this up! Shoutout to the YB readers who peeped a peak on my personal Snapchat. Charge it to drunken girl’s trip shenanigans. For all of you that missed it, I posted a pic of Cross on my Snap. No worries though, I was childish enough to place an emoji over his face. Lol. I’m gonna grow up one day, I swear!

Until next time,


 

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