Yesterday was my first official day post Cross. We had a few random text exchanges over the weekend. Somebody please cue Chris Brown + Jhene Aiko’s ‘Drunk Texting’ because..yeah. However, the exchange was nothing to write home about. But back to yesterday, I found myself thinking about him way too much and at the suggestion of one of my friend’s I decided to play around on the dating apps I’d pretty neglected since updating my bio. A recent convo with one of my friends led to me downloading OkCupid and this bomb ass app called The League (I’m currently number 40 something thousand on the wait list). I started conversing with some guys that I’d met on OkCupid and it instantly reminded me why dating is a literal joke. Like to hear about it? Here it go!
First up, this guy, hmm… we’ll call him Teddy Roosevelt. Teddy Roosevelt is from my hometown in Long Island. I figured that out based off of the town he had listed in his profile. Makes sense? Okay. So we began with the formalities of ‘hey. how are you? nice to meet you,’ then he asked where in my town am I from. Anyone who knows anything about my town SHOULD know that it’s literally ONE SQUARE MILE. We don’t refer to any specific part of my town based on anything besides street names or landmarks. That in mind, I told him that I live near an elementary school. First of all, don’t be asking where I live like you’re not a complete stranger! Hello, this is 2017 practically 2018! It should internet 101 to never ever disclose your address with someone you met literally five mins ago. But that goes back to men not taking their safety (check out the section titled “keep your safety in mind) as seriously as they should when it comes to online dating but I digress. He goes on to tell me the street names of the blocks he lives near and proceeds to ask if I’m far away from him. I didn’t reply for a while but when I did I said, “Not too far. Town Name (It’s obviously redacted but ya’ll all know where I’m from b/c most of my readers are my friends IRL) is only one square mile so it’s kinda hard to be far from anyone that lives here. LOL.” He hit me back with “Lol. So can I see u then.” So you know what happened after that? Ya girl got ghost! I seriously don’t have time for these men to ask me to “come see them” as if that’s the proper way to invite someone anywhere. ESPECIALLY if it’s within the first five or six messages you’ve exchanged with someone. These dudes are gonna get enough of inviting random women into their homes of one these days.
Next up! this guy, we’ll refer to him as Circle. Circle hit me up and we had a pretty decent chat. Things took an awkward turn when he asked me what I was doing. I said, “I’m cool just working.” This fool asked me “is that code for playing the field?” Excuse me, sir what TF did you just ask me? Maybe I’m too sensitive or reaching but is this man out of his goddamn mind? How does working = playing the field? I was immediately annoyed and unwilling to spare his feelings or his pride so I got a little nice-nasty and hit him with, “Nope. It means typing celebrity and lifestyle news stories in exchange for compensation.” He replied “Oh excuse me ! I see your doing your thing girl” If I wasn’t already annoyed with his line of questioning, the fact that he used the wrong you’re in ‘I see you’re doing your thing’ was the last straw for me. Like bro, how you gonna be shady and have poor grammar? So you know I what I did right? Hit ’em with the curve!
These are two of the most ridiculous encounters I’ve had over the last 24-hours. I swear the more and more I meet people the less enthused I get about dating. It’s like dang. Can’t I find an educated hood dude who can talk politics, understands my obsession with trap music, knows the difference between your and you’re, is fluent in sarcasm and is easy on the eyes? Is that too much to ask for? LOL judging from what I’ve seen it probably is and that’s what makes this experience So. Much. Fun!
If you made it this far, you should probably know that my no Cross era lasted a cool 24-hours. He hit me up on IG last night to let me know that he was having some technical issues. Not too sure how that’s my personal business, considering he wasn’t contacting me without said issues BUT whatever’s clever I suppose. We had a brief convo. Nothing of substance BUT I could possibly see him in the near future to exchange some personal things of his that I’m currently in possession of. We’ll see what happens and as always, I’ll keep you guys and gals updated.
Until next time,