When Art Imitates Life

You ever just hear a song and instantly fall in love? Well that’s what happened to me when I heard Wale’s new mixtape It’s Complicated.

I should preface this with saying, I’m a huge Wale fan. Ambitious Girl 1 & 2 gave me so much life in my college years. “Bliss” featuring Melanie Fiona has been goals forever and don’t even get me started on Ambition the album.

But anyway, It’s Complicated is a four track mixtape that basically summarizes my plight as a single woman and things I’m looking for in love and future relationships. Since I’m such a sap and currently have no action going on in my love life, I figured it would be dope to share my fave quotes from It’s Complicated and how I relate to them.

“It’s Complicated”

Let’s start off with the title track. One of the things I love most about Wale is his spoken word. Like seriously, the man is a poetic genius. The song opens with him saying,

It’s complicated to find a lady in my generation that’s not preoccupied with social clout / We almost fazing out from the high we get from love and conversation to go on IG gallivanting for likes and shit / Oh, it’s complicated.

Besides stating the same thing I’ve been preaching ever since starting this YB journey (the idea that dating in this era is complicated AF) Wale addresses the huge elephant in the room when it comes to dating 20 somethings: SOCIAL MOTHER FN’n Media.

It seems like people are more interested in following you on social, seeing who you follow, counting how many likes you get on pics than they are with developing actual relationships with you.

Next up,

I’m tryna say I need loyalty like Clyde Barrow was tryna get when Bonnie was shot up riding shotgun with him.

Now, now, I have absolutely, positively no interest in being complicit in a crime spree that ultimately results in our demise HOWEVER I can say that I do appreciate loyalty that doesn’t waver.

I believe that love is complicated at best / And at it’s worst it’s a permanent burning in your chest / I pray to earn that from somebody someday / But, somehow someway I no longer have a heart to invest, it’s miles away.

These lyrics are pretty self explanatory. The one thing I don’t fully relate to is the idea of no longer having a heart to invest. Regardless of how many fuccbois I encounter, or how many times my heart gets broken, I’ll never be one of those… At least I hope I won’t be.

Let’s move on to the next track.

“Black Bonnie”

I was hype AF when I saw Jacquees was featured on “Black Bonnie.” Jacquees is one of my indie/underground R&B baes. Even if he was singing his ABC’s I knew this song would be placed on repeat and its lyrics would be featured up and down my IG as captions for completely unrelated posts.

Talk to me different, let’s come up together.

I know everybody says it, but I’m really different. No, really. I swear I am. I just want to be treated as such. Coming up together (not up off of one another) is important to me. I’ve been in my career field for six years, but I still feel like there’s so much for me to achieve, and I’d want my future partner to achieve their goals as I’m doing the same.

Let’s create the vibe, let’s not take our time.

Instead of succumbing to societal norms and doing what everyone else is doing, I want whoever I end up with to create our own definition of what our relationship means. I’m not trying to live up to anyone’s expectation of what a partner should be if it’s not the expectation of my bae/boo/significant companion/whoever’s crazy enough to deal with me long term.

The second verse is pretty much life! He slays my life from the opening!

Talk to you different, but never extra / She like the fact I get aggressive but I’m not possessive.

There’s something about an aggressive man. Not aggressive to the point where I fear for my safety, but like someone’s who is aggressively pursuing you. They let their intentions be known and as long as they’ve got your consent, they don’t let up. I really appreciate that.

I don’t have time for creepy, possessive men who get annoyed when I go out to do with my guy friends or let one of my friends crash on the couch after a crazy turn up at my house. There are distinct differences in being aggression and possession. A man that knows the difference is someone that I’m here for.

Bad but she modest, nasty and honest.

That’s me… Modest AF and always honest b/c I can’t tell a lie to save my life.

The world never loved me ’cause girls only lust / But you a woman that got the will to show me to trust.

Another self explanatory one here. As an African-American woman I can go on and on about how little society thinks of me and other women like me. Lust generally fuels the intentions of most men I come across (especially when it comes to dating) BUT I’m sure the man that I’ll link with will make me trust that he does more than lust over me.

“Effortless”

You rather patience and conversation / She mature, but she still a baby / ‘Cause she get a check but still check my pages.

This is very true. Cut down the theatrics and give me the raw. Give me patience, understanding and conversation and it’s lit!

I’ve been told that I’m very wise and emotionally mature (when I’m not acting like a lunatic) for my age HOWEVER I’d still like to be my future guy’s baby? You know?

It’s embarrassing caring for some people / The heart you wear that’s on your sleeve is there to mislead ’em.

Let’s just say I’ve been embarrassed a time or two…No real need to expand.

Maybe shawty could be the first / To show me how to love on a level where effort isn’t work.

In essence, this is what I want in a partner. Somebody who’s going to prove that loving me will come easy and not feel like a hassle. I don’t want to have to force someone to feel anything for me.

She can do that shit with no effort.

As if I didn’t love this song enough, Wale closed with a nod to my fave new era rapper, Tee Grizzley.

“Let It Go”

’cause we all got hurt, but we don’t heal the same.

One of the biggest things I’ve realized when it comes to relationships is that if a person hasn’t healed from a traumatic/devastating thing they’ve experienced it’s GOING to impact your relationship.

And there we have it! If you haven’t heard It’s Complicated you definitely need to! If you have heard it, let me know what you think. Which tracks did you like? What do you think of the quotes I pulled?

Until next time,