Only Me!

Hey, Young Baes!

Hope you’re all having fab holiday stuffed off of yesterday’s big dinner and broke AF from Black Friday shopping!

Now that we’ve got all of the pleasantries out of the way, I’m here because I’ve obviously got a story to tell. And if you know me, then you know this is going to be equally hilarious and tragic.

Two years ago, I went to this pre-Thanksgiving happy hour and got my entire life. The music was great, drinks were flowing, eye candy galore. When one of my friends hit me up about going to the same happy hour this year, it was a no brainer. Of course, I’d be there with bells on. I assembled the crew of friends that went to the previous happy hour and we hit the city.

As soon as we got there, we were all very disappointed. According to the security guard we checked with right before we left, there was 548 people chilling in the one floor venue that the party was held at. As you can imagine, it was crowded AF, packed like a can of sardines with one way in and one way and out for a hyper-aware chica like me, that’s a no go. My friends and I decided to hit up another event that was being hosted by some guys I went to college with and that’s when things got pretty awkward.

As soon as I walked in the spot, you’ll never guess who I saw. EMINEM!!!! Yes, my one and done, best date of my entire life, that Eminem. I was hella surprised but I played it cool as my friends and I decided whether or not we’d be staying. I noticed him looking at me a couple of times but I didn’t speak. He accidentally bumped into one of my friends while we were standing by the bar and literally looked me dead in my eyes.

While I was in the middle of losing my mind after seeing Eminem, I noticed another familiar face… CT! Yes, the reach out and then ghost CT! I couldn’t help but laugh as soon as I realized my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me. I quickly let my friends know like ‘yo, that’s dude!’

What’s crazy is he definitely noticed me. One quick look to my left and I peeped CT whispering in another guy’s ear before they both stared me dead in my face. I didn’t speak because why TF would I?

The night progressed and a few of my other friends were going to pull up so I stepped outside so I’d be able to hear them. Once I decided to walk back in CT and his whole crew were on their way out which made things completely awkward solo walk through.

As I reflected on the night, I realized it was the second time in two weeks that I’d run into two dudes at the same place. The last time it happened was when I was in Jamaica celebrating my sister’s b-day. The first night we touched down, my friends swindled their way on stage near the DJ at the spot we were turning up at for the evening. I got super hot, so I decided to sit down by the stairs to cool down. While my friends were dancing, getting random $20 tips from couples and making a name for ourselves (the entire time we stayed everyone from locals, to resort workers to fellow vacationers referred to us as the girls from Margaritaville).

While I was sitting down trying not to melt into a puddle, this really annoying guy came over to me and started talking to me. I wasn’t interested but brushed him off giving him my number with hopes that he’d just be satisfied with that and leave me TF alone.

The next night we went to another spot and while we were waiting for one of our friends to come out of the bathroom, this guy came up to us and started vibing. He invited us to the section where he and his friends had bottle service and we turned up with his crew for the night. One of his friends called me over to him and we talked and danced for a while. We wound up exchanging numbers and he told me what clubs he’d be hitting up for the duration of my trip. The last night of our trip, my friends and I planned to go to the spot where dude was so I hit him up. He said his friends had a section again and that he’d see me there.

Once our Uber arrived, I immediately saw the dude that I’d been conversing with. So I was like ‘okay, cool he’s gonna get us in and we’re gonna go straight into his section,’ WRONG! What I didn’t pay attention to was the guy opening our car door… it was the guy from the first night. Because I didn’t recognize him and totally wasn’t expecting to see him, I was taken back when he grabbed my arm and was like ‘Hey, I’ve been calling you for two days.’ Talk about AWKWARD! The guy that I intended on linking with looked visibly upset as I approached him. The annoying dude followed me and my friends into the spot and kept trying to talk to me. I just hit him with the ‘my friends and I are good. You go and enjoy yourself tonight.’ He didn’t listen and legit stood around us for a solid 10 minutes of me rejecting him. The dude I wanted to see came over to me once he finally left and was like ‘Yo, I spoke to him and he said you’re his girl.’ I was so confused because it’s like wayment, how am I anybody’s girl and I’ve been in Jamaica for a literal second? We wound up talking through it and he didn’t seemed to pressed by it.

We kept in touched once my vacation ended, but I was in Jamaica looking for someone to dance with in the club and buy my friends and I drinks, and he was trying to make me his girlfriend. Add that in with the fact that he lied about his age (how he went from 24 to 31 was beyond me) and the fact that he practically had dope boy written all over him, I wanted no parts.

Anywho, that’s where this story of ridiculousness ends. Hopefully I’ll be back with some more tea to spill in the near future.

Until next time,