After downloading each app, I was left with the daunting tasks of coming up with witty headlines, answering questions about my preferences and selecting the perfect profile picture. I thought I was ready before, but this made me realize how unprepared I actually was. When thoughts of punking out came to mind, some of my partners in progress suggested that I treat these profiles like just another social media account. Truthfully, I wasn’t making my IG bio or selecting my Twitter pic with dudes checking for me in mind, so I decided to put my “professional writer” hat on and make it do what it do!
After filling in the “headline” and “about me” segments, I was left with answering questions “about my match” as well as my “hobbies and interests.” It had been so long since I had to answer those questions that I really had to stop and think about it. How do I enjoy spending my time? What am I looking for in a guy? What’s my ideal first date? Truthfully, I wanted to say, “I’m a regular, degular, smhegular girl from Long Island that’ll judge your entire existence off of improper spelling and grammar,” but that would’ve been doing THE entire most.
Eventually, I pressed paused on filling out my profile to check out what other people had in their’s and boy, oh boy! I was totally unprepared for what I saw. Things like “eating pu$$y” and “MaKn $” were some of the first bios I came across on Beople, and it had me rethinking this entire process. I was stuck wondering did it really come down to this? Was my life this trash that THIS craziness is what I was left with? Was all of this even worth the hassle of possibly getting to know someone? Just like Sway, I didn’t have the answers. BUT in spite of my apprehension, I decided to thug it out. I knew that if nothing else, I’d have some hilarious stories to tell.
Once my profile was complete, it was time to select a photo and that brought on another problem on my hands. Almost all of my selfies (because group photos on dating sites are the ultimate sign of a D.U.F.F.) featured Snapchat filters. Not cute filters that snatched your nose and slimmed out your face, but obnoxious ones like the go-to dog filter, Coachella-esque flower crown and even the new adorable pig voice changer (that just so happens to be my new fave). Luckily I found a pic from earlier this year that featured a beat face, bright white smile and a bun that was laid for the GAWDS and then it was go time.
My profile was officially live and the waiting game had begun. I thought I was prepared for all the possibilities and I just knew that it would take some time for things to get going, but man, was I wrong.
Until next time,