Transparency

A large reason of why running The Young & The Baeless has been so easy for me is because of my candidness. I don’t mind spilling the tea on my dating life because it’s a literal joke. The hilarity that ensues is sometimes stranger than fiction and just about everyone I talk about it to gets a kick out of it BUT I had a moment recently. A moment where I had to decide whether or not I should inform potential bae aka Cross of the wonderful world of TY&TB.

Cross and I were hanging out one night and we had a really serious conversation about our true selves. The more open and honest he was with me, the more the guilt of having a blog detailing our exploits without his awareness or permission began to eat at me. So me being me, I couldn’t help but inform him.

—Side note… In real life, I’m the most honest person. I can’t lie to save my life. I always have to have a clear conscience (I guess that’s why I’ve never toy with the idea of cheating in relationships) so I just can’t hold important things back. My friends shade me all the time for being too honest, telling way too much, but I’m convinced it’s embedded in my DNA or something.—

But enough of that… let’s get back to Cross. I started off telling him about my career as a writer and my interest in journalism. We’d talked about it previously but I figured it was the perfect segue. I told him about my decision to sign up for dating apps and how I wanted to chronicle my dating journey with a blog. He thought I meant vlog, like providing video footage, but he was reassured when I told him about it was just words no actual footage.

Judging from his reaction, he seemed pretty cool about it. I told him that I’d written about him, given him an alias and explained to him the basic way I came up with it. He seemed a little taken back, but receptive. He asked me to read something that I’d written to him and I started reading this post, just because it was light, up beat and fun. He quickly shut that down and asked if I could read what I’d written about him specifically.

That’s when things got a little awkward. Writing something and throwing them a link to read for themselves is one thing. Actually sitting next to someone as you read your thoughts on your experiences with THEM is a completely different story. Getting past my nerves, I read the first two Cross posts and he laughed, a lot. A sign that I hadn’t completely ran him off for the hills. Hearing my perspective of things tickled him, but he made one edit though. I forgot to mention that he waited outside my house for me to go in on our first date. I was like “boy, I was high. How the heck was I supposed to remember that?” He was really receptive to the idea of the blog and was taken by the fact that I’d felt whatever ways I expressed in my posts.

Every now and then, he’ll ask about Cross and what he’s been up to. He’s pretty much caught up on all of the posts related to him by now and I think it’s pretty cool. He doesn’t know the site’s URL and said he doesn’t really have plans on keeping up with anything that doesn’t involve Cross. I guess that helps keep my freedom of speaking candidly without him snooping, but truthfully, there’s nothing going on in my dating life besides him at the present moment. I don’t know what it is, but it seems like all of the datable guys have made their departure from dating apps.

Every few days I go scrolling just to check out the eye candy and boy, if I was starving and needed eye candy to survive, I’d die of starvation because these dudes on all of the apps are literal trash. Either OBVIOUSLY lying about their age, throwing up gang signs, smoking or doing something stupid in their profile pics, have 10 page paragraphs about how Black women are the devil in their bio, plain ole UGLY or haven’t updated their pages in centuries. I guess it’s all working out for the better. It gives me time to focus on things with Cross and see what we make of this thing we’ve got going.

Until next time,

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